I know I'm impatient, seeing as it's only been 2 weeks since we made the decision to stop treatments. But I am so sick and tired of having every other day be a sad fertility day. I'm ready to move on - yet I don't want to give up. I'm in limbo. Stuck in the middle. And I'm pretty sure I'm going to have to make a decision in order to move on.
I checked out a book at the library about Parenting your Only Child - but I can't seem to bring myself to open it. I don't WANT to parent an only child, dammit! How can this be happening to me?
Thank god for my first therapy appointment next Tuesday. I am a basketcase.
It's all I can do not to email Steve and tell him I made a mistake, I want to go forward with another IVF try. Let's give it all we've got.
What if there's something really wrong with me? Maybe I should get another HSG? Or maybe I need a lap?
God, I'm a mess.
3 comments:
I'm sorry Maren. I can see how hard this is for you. I think it's OK not to make any decisions for now. Maybe the therapy will give you some time to clear your head and make a decision. Big (((hugs)))
~Devan
Maren, Sounds like a plan. Decide not to decide right now. You are right in the thick of IVF hell. It takes a while to recover from that. My only other thought is to get anti-miscarriage bloodwork done before doing IVF again. I did read on a site that the antibodies can also make it hard to stim up eggs. Much less get an embryo to stick. I'm behind you, whatever you decide. Mary Ann
Just wanted to tell you I am sorry for the point you are at -- I've been there myself. Things will fall into place, one way or the other, when the time is right.
I also remember reading books about parenting an only child and like you, they made me angry, as it was NOT want I wanted.
Hugs to you.
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