So I got my first (though certainly not last) lesson in letting your child learn from her own mistakes. Ouch, it hurts!
When I picked J up from pre-school yesterday afternoon she told me she had a present for me. She ran back into the classroom (her teacher was gone already) and brought out a pinecone Xmas ornament. It didn't look "done" to me, so I said something like "Are you sure you can take this home?" She nodded, so I didn't think much of it, and we went home.
This morning, her teacher came up to her as I was helping her get her coat off and said, "Jenna, remember that holiday project we were working on yesterday? I can't find yours. Do you know what happened to it?"
She sat quietly for a second, then looked up at me with tears welling in her eyes and said sadly, "Mom, will you go back home and get my pinecone?"
I wanted so badly to say "of course, sweet pea, I'll go get your ornament". But I didn't. I said, "Jenna, I can't go back home and get your ornament right now. We can bring it back to school tomorrow."
She was so sad. I know she's going to be upset about it while all the other kids work on theirs. Part of me thinks I should have just gone home and gotten it. She's only 4, right? But - I also know that kids are smart (especially my kid) and patterns like this start early. I want her to learn to be responsible for her actions and not expect me to always bail her out. After working with teenagers for the last 10 years, I see the parents doing that all the time, and it's certainly not doing their kids any good.
I feel like a mean old mom this morning, though :( I'm sure she's forgotten all about it, and here I am still stewing....
5 comments:
Yes, it's hard but I think you did the right thing. We've been going through this with Patrick...he's been forgetting to bring his binder home from school and then can't get his homework done for the night.
Aw! That's tough! I think you did the right thing, though. Better to learn this lesson now with a pinecone than have to learn it ten or fifteen years from now with a huge school project.
Yah, that's tough, but you handled it well. :)
A little tough love moment will pay big dividends later. And you may never know what might have been. This builds character.
What a hard thing to do! I could have rationalized away how she probably really thought it was done, etc., etc, but you stood up and taught the hard lesson. ((hugs))
Thanks for you comments, we've know for awhile, but I've been too paranoid to even really talk about it not wanting to jinx things. I'm still a little paranoid... And, as always, we are traveling to IL the 26th-30th when you are going to be in MN. This seems to happen every time, I hope we get to meet sometime! I hope Jenna bounced back from her disappointment and you recovered as well :)
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