Patience

Anybody seen mine?

I hate when I lose patience with jenna. I know I'm not alone, and in general on the parent patience scale, I'd probably rank pretty high up there - somewhat simply due to logistical reasons (only one child, a very supportive and involved spouse, financial means that make life easier, etc...). But man, I can really lose my cool. And I have the capability to be downright mean. No one gives better silent treatment than me.

And you know how kids just "know" when the end of the rope is near?

Let me give you some examples of the way my very perceptive 4-year old dealt with Impatient Mommy tonight at bedtime:

Bathtime: Typically, this is where she pulls out all the stops. Many kids might do it actually in the bed at bedtime, but I think by that time she's so tired that she can't put up near the fight.

First, we get into a power struggle about washing her body and hair before she gets out her fishing toys. (Impatient Maren does not pick her battles well.) Then, she wants me to watch her practice her dolphin swims for about 10 minutes. If I take my eyes off of her for even one millisecond, we have to "start over from the beginning". Then the toothpaste is too spicy. Her toothbrush is too dirty. She needs to clean the sink from top to bottom because it has toothpaste all over it (yes, it did - but she doesn't give two hoots about this unless it will buy her 10 minutes). Now she needs a clean towel to dry off the clean sink. Then - oops! She forgot to put detangler spray in her hair. Wait a minute - now she needs to cut her big toenail because otherwise it will get ingrown (she's obsessed with ingrown toenails). She takes out 3 nightgowns, lays them out on the floor and wants me to count to 100 (no kidding) while she dances around her room and eventually selects one to wear. Finally I send her downstairs for daddy to brush her hair. Hairbrushing really sends me over the edge. Long, fine hair + sensitive scalp + Impatient Mommy = very high-pitched hysterics.

Bedtime: She does all the usual stalling tactics involving needing multiple drinks, turning her fan on, making sure the cats aren't under her bed, needing various stuffed animals and turning her lamp on and off several times. After all that, she steals a quick glance at Impatient Mommy and proceeds to pick out the two looooooongest Berenstein Bear books we own: Car Trip and The Trouble With Money. These aren't even close to being her favorite BB books, but she busts them out special for Impatient Mommy. While reading as fast my mouth will allow, she is simultaneously (and very effectively) slowing way down the pace by pointing out every portion of every picture and asking me what every other word means (This is especially bad in Trouble With Money with all those da*n 'figures of speech').

Well, I lost it. After about the 10th time she asked me to tuck her in, get her another drink, check under her bed and what 'nest egg' means, I snapped. I can't repeat exactly what I said and did because I'm too embarassed - but I'm sure you get the general idea.

Then I stewed about it guiltily and paced about the kitchen for awhile, and when I peeked my head in her room 10 minutes later all prepared to apologize and snuggle, she was already asleep.

Thankfully 4 year-olds don't seem to hold grudges :)