I feel I've been in an altered state for the last 6 days. I was not prepared for the depth in which I've been affected by the death of my co-worker's son. It has consumed me, and left me feeling emotionally spent. I attribute some of this to my previously existing emotionally fragile state. I am particularly vulnerable these days. Hence, when a tragedy such as this one occurs, I don't have much reserve!
Needless to say, I've been spending lots of time hugging my daughter and being really, really grateful that I am able to celebrate Mothers Day as a mother. A true miracle.
I've also been meditating a lot about how little control we have over our lives. We "think" we have control, and especially when our kids are little, it really does seem like we can control many aspects of their lives. But it's all a mirage, really. In the end, we have none.
Hopefully I'll be feeling more like myself in a few more days :)
2 comments:
I am so sorry for you and your friend and her family. It is painful to conceive of this happening to anybody. I can't imagine what they are actually going through.
You are a true friend to them to have this depth of empathy/sympathy in their hour of need.
Loss impacts us in such mysterious ways. I suppose, becuase we often aren't able to prepare for it. And the death of a child...SO devestating for all involved with the child and their family.
Hang in there, hope you're feeling like yourself again soon.
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