HI
1. Birthday Celebrations
Jenna had several of them and they were all fantastic. 5 is such a great age for "friend" birthday parties! We had a pizza/princess dress-up party on her actual birthday with her great neighbor friends...
and we had a swimming party with her school friends on Sunday:
It makes my heart happy to see her having fun with her friends. We are so lucky to have such a great network!
2. Piano Lesson #2
We've had two lessons and they have both gone spectacularly. Jenna listened diligently for the entire 30 minutes and is even enjoying practicing at home for the most part. I'm not stressing too much about the practice piece. If she sits down with me for 5 minutes and plays a few things, that's enough for me!
3. Grandparents
When you don't live near them, you REALLY enjoy their visits! Jenna is very fortunate to have 3 sets of grandparents who make regular visits to KS to play with her. This week, Grandma Redbird and Pa made the trek from Oklahoma for her birthday party on Sunday:
And then there's the big, major, panic-inducing LOW for the week:
1. 2.5cm Breast Mass on Right Breast - Seeking Further Diagnosis
My right breast, or actually nipple to be specific, has been a little tender ever since AF arrived a week ago Saturday. It is not uncommon for me to experience this during AF, so I didn't think much about it, until I realized it was still hurting on Friday. AF was long gone, so I actually wondered for a split second if I might be pregnant - since tender breasts have been an early pg symptom for me in the past. I even took a test on Saturday - which was negative of course. Then Sunday I woke up and felt a pretty good sized lump right above my right nipple.
I have an appt Thursday for a sonogram and possible fine needle aspiraton and/or biopsy. Apparently I'm too young for a mammogram as a typical 32 year-old breast is just too dense to see much in an x-ray. Surely this must mean I'm too young for the big "C", right???
I know this is a very common occurance for women and is not necessarily cause for panic-induced hysteria -- but I am soooooooo not a normal woman on the health-related front. I am a worrywart woman whose mother died at 55 of cancer and who has experienced 4 years of infertility and "what are the odds" reproductive situations. Don't EVEN start to tell me that 4 out of 5 breast masses are benign or that 95% of them are cysts that can be aspirated (Dr. Google anyone?). That don't mean diddly-squat to this chick. I am quite used to being a medical abnormality, and have unfortunately even begun to assume the worst. So you can imagine where my brain went...
MAJOR FREAK OUT FROM THAT MOMENT ON....CURRENTLY IN FULL SWING
I don't think the surgeons office quite understood the severity of this statement when I called them in a dither later this afternoon and tried to bump up the Thursday appt. to tomorrow by assuring them that I would be operating in full panic mode until I am seen. That failed, but I did get to speak to a very kind nurse who assured me that a)if my doctor felt it was an emergency, they would have squeezed me in sooner, and b)that it is totally normal to be anxious before a procedure like this.
Well, I am hella anxious. I am panicked. I am irrational. I am withdrawn. I am pretty inconsolable, especially by DH. He does not do well when I get like this, and I feel bad for him because he wants to help, but he can't. I need my mom - or a very motherly substitute - to make me feel better, and he's not it.
I would appreciate any positive thoughts, calm words or wisdom, or suggestions of deep breathing. Thank You!
7 comments:
Oh honey. I'm sorry you are going through this. Let me tell you what I know about cancerous lumps. They are supposed to be painless. And feel hard like a pencil eraser. And they are fixed, meaning they don't squirm around under your finger.
The fact that your lump came on quickly and is painful points to infection to my mind.
Of course the doc needs to diagnose you, but really, if you have an infection, that needs to be diagnosed quickly as well. It is awful they are making you wait so long. If your condition worsens, go to an emergency room. Don't be shy just because you have a test scheduled. Especially watch out for fever or malaise. Or spreading redness from the site.
I hope the time passes as quickly as possible and they are able to help you.
I love Jenna's smile...it just radiates happiness!
Big HUGE ((HUGS)) for you.
Breathe in, breathe out.
Keeping you close in my thoughts and prayers...
Oh my goodness!!! I will be thinking about you this week. You can do this... you can make it to your appointment date! I agree with Opus - I've had several breast lumps, one that didn't coincide with my cycle; both were fine. The fact that it hurts is actually a very good signal! (((hugs)))
Oh Maren...(((hugs))) I'm hoping, praying that the lump turns out to be nothing.
I don't think you should feel guilty about not being rational and I'm hoping the time between now and Thursday goes quickly. I think what MA makes a lot of sense. Looks like a fun birthday celebration :) Thinking of you!
I came over from the LFCA to wish you peace and moments of calm as you wait to find out more about this lump. And of course fervent wishes for you to hear nothing but good, benign news. Hang in there, and keep breathing. A good calming breathing trick I learned from my acupuncturist is this: breathe in for a count of four, and out for a count of six. I find that I count a bit faster on the six, but the main thing is to just focus on lengthening the exhale. It reduces cortisol in the body and helps you find some calm when you need it.
I also came from LFCA.
I too found a lump in my left breast, above the nipple, on Saturday, after a painful Friday. The doctor says it's the aftermath of the miscarriage I had 3 months ago. She did an u/s and said that it is puerperal mastitis. She also said that usually, if it shows up all of a sudden, after a bout of pain, and it is hot, then it is most likely a blocked duct that causes the accumulation of liquid that turns into a lump.
Try to be positive about this.
I know the scare, but do not give in to it.
I keep my fingers crossed for you to get your good news soon.
Stay well.
Mina
Post a Comment