A new year....a new hope?

Happy New Year!

I've been wanting to write for days, but am just now getting around to it. We had a wonderfully long holiday trip to various in-laws, and as always, I'm so grateful that I love my in-laws so much. Jenna finally went back to pre-school today after a very long break. She and I were both ready! And I'm settling back in at work after 2 weeks off. It feels good to get back to normal life.

I spent much of my holiday break reading Ken Follett's new book World Without End. I read Pillars of the Earth in high school and it is one of my favorite books of all time. I finished the 1000+ page sequel last night and boy, I felt like I had just run a marathon! It was also a good read, but really too long for my tastes. It was a major investment to finish it....and I've been dreaming about it for 2 weeks now (I often dream about books I'm currently reading), so I'm reading to move on to other topics!

On the fertility front, I secretly took 5mg of femara this past month - hopefully for some kind of miracle. But, unsurprisingly, my body continues on in dysfunctional regularity. My period arrived this morning right on schedule, 8 days after an unmistakable ovulation. Oh well. At least I don't have to keep a fertility-drug pregnancy secret from Steve, right? I have noticed a new monthly symptom over the last 2 months. I never before noticed any breast or nipple tenderness during my cycles - but lately my nipples are getting very sensitive around ovulation and again right before menses. I know this is normal for many women, but it's new for me. I wonder what that means hormonally?...

Recently, I learned that a Moms Club aquaintance of mine was diagnosed with breast cancer. She is 39 with 2 kids. She went in for her baseline mammogram and discovered Stage 3 cancer in her milk ducts. YIKES. I've decided when I go for my annual exam this month I'm going to talk to my ob/gyn about getting an early baseline mammogram myself. I think my insurance will cover it with my mom's history of cancer - even though it wasn't breast cancer. In a way, I'd rather not do it, because I'm scared to death to think (and to know for sure is even more scary! I might have cancer. But, I'm also a pragmatist and a realist, and I'm very aware that this stuff happens to anyone and everyone, and the earlier to find breast cancer, the better your chances. And, the chances are good that my mammogram will be perfectly normal and I can breathe easy for the next 10 years!

My neighbor friend and I have decided to host a neighborhood garage sale in April/May. We both have gobs of stuff - mostly baby stuff- to get rid of, and there are several other families with young children on my street that I am sure do as well. So -- here's my tentative gameplan. I'm going to tell Steve I want to give IVF one more shot in March/April. If it works, we can keep a lot of the baby stuff. If it doesn't, it's all getting sold at the garage sale! I'll probably need a month of prep before the IVF, so I need to have that conversation by mid-February so I can call the RE and get started. It always feels good to have a plan....

Meanwhile, life goes on and I love my growing, ever-changing little girl more than words. She is so loving these days. She tells Steve and I that she loves us all the time, and that "we're her favorite mommy/daddy!" Adorable.