Action Items #2 and #3

So here I am with another report on my action items. I like to make reports when I have progress. It's kind of like making lists and putting things on them that you've already done just so you can cross them off (yes, I do this. Doesn't everybody?).

I'm still reporting from this post, because frankly, it has been a pretty powerful time for me. The last 2 months have been some of the most emotionally intense times of my life. From this high strung girl, that's quite a statement. I've realized that what I have been feeling over the last five years in regards to our fertility journey has never really been anxiety or fear. It's been a whole lot of sadness and anger, and also a bunch of guilt and shame and regret and grief and loss and frustration and sometimes hopelessness...but never anxiety. I did a pretty good job of handling all that other stuff. This anxiety business has just about sent me over the cliff. It has been Really Really HARD.

Action Item #2:
I had my first appointment with a new therapist last Thursday. She asked good questions, let me do most of the talking, and shared just a couple of interesting insights. All in all, a good first appointment. We talked about starting an SSRI as part of my "symptom management" (her words), and so I'm going to see my regular doctor today at 3pm. I have mixed feelings about it. I think I've decided I'm going to try a whole host of other things first (see Action Item #3 below), and if nothing has changed in a month, I'll start the meds.

Action Item #3:
Alternative treatments. There are so many to choose from! And it seems like everyone I talk to has different suggestions. I want to try everything! For now, I'm starting with the following:

Acupuncture - I had kind of a freaky experience with acupuncture about 4 years ago. I started going in February 2006 after trying for 8 months to have a second baby (gosh that was a Loooong time ago!). I went for one month, once per week, and took 2 tinctures of Chinese herbs daily. After 4 weeks, I ended up pregnant with FOUR gestational sacs. None were viable, I had my incomplete D&C and 4 months of agony while I waited for my body to right itself. I have no idea if the two are/were related, but I've been kind of afraid to go back to acupuncture since then. However, I love the acupuncturist and she specializes in womens health, so I'm going to give it another shot. I have my first appointment a week from Friday.

Supplements - After talking with several friends and doing my own online research, I've decided to add three supplements to my vitamin cocktail that I try to remember to take daily: Fish oil, Evening Primrose Oil, and Natural Progesterone Cream. EPO and progesterone are supposed to help with breast health, which I'm most concerned about currently since I still have a breast cyst that is bothering me a bit. I also read that eliminating caffeine relieves symptoms for some women, but that's gonna be a super hard one for me - so I'm saving that for last :)

In other news, we had a FABULOUS trip to Colorado last week with my bother-in-laws and their families. It was glorious Memorial Day weather and we had a great cabin in Estes Park. This week is my first week of "summer hours" - which for me means only working Tuesdays and Wednesdays. Jenna is thrilled to be back at school for the summer, where they swim twice a day and do lots of gardening and outdoor activities. I did some gardening for a friend's birthday yesterday and got poison ivy for the first time in my entire life. And tonight my photography class starts!