Dear Fear

I am stuck in fear this morning. Paralyzed. Brain spinning round and round with all kinds of un-helpful thoughts.

What caused this? A teeny bit of amber-colored discharge I noticed after using the bathroom this morning. Totally would have gone unseen and unnoticed by any normal person. But that's all it took for my fear to start spinning out of control.

I came to work and started planning for my weekly group. I decided to do some creative journaling work with the kids. Hmmmm.....methinks I need a little creative journaling too. So I googled "creative journaling fear" and found a little exercise about writing a letter to your fear. Here is mine:

Dear Fear of Miscarriage,

I loathe you. I resent that you took my innocence away. I cringe at how much power I give you. I have no control over the outcome of my current pregnancy, but I can control you. I want to try, anyway. I must try.

I've noticed that you like to come around a lot in the early morning hours, after Steve has gone to work and before Jenna is awake. When I am alone. This is a vulnerable time for me, and thus, you thrive.

I don't want you around anymore. It is hurting me. You bring nothing good to my life, and it's time to leave for good.

My body is healthy. I am capable of a healthy pregnancy. I will trust my body that it can follow its natural course - the one that women have been following for centuries.

I set you free!
Maren